Right now, you’re feeling beat up, alone, and like someone took your emotions out of your heart, rung them out like a kitchen rag, and tossed them back at you.
Congratulations. You’ve reached the bottom.
I don’t mean that tongue-in-cheek. You’ve been through some pretty hard times lately, and I’m not trying to trivialize that or make it seem like I don’t have empathy for you, because I do. Because I’ve been there before, too. Most people have experienced hard times at sometime in their life, and have to figure out if they’re going to just lay there and wallow in the bad stuff, or if they’re going to move forward in their life, better for facing the challenge.
Because you’re here, I’m going to guess that you’re not going to wallow.
You’re at a point now that’s typically called “surrender.” That means you’ve accepted that there’s some pretty bad stuff going on in your life right now, and that the depth of your emotions about what’s going on is overwhelming to you. In other words, you need help. You need someone to reach out to you and give you comfort, a shoulder to cry on, or some support as you move forward through whatever it is that you’re going through right now. You should call a trusted friend or family member when you need that person in your life. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes-even though you hate to do it. Even though you may not realize it, you have people in your life who are just waiting for the opportunity to help you. Let them!
As you progress through to the other side of what’s got you down, you need to remember not to underestimate yourself. Often, bad times make us question our abilities or judgment. We tend to blame ourselves for the bad situation that we’re in. And I’m not going to absolve you from blame-it may well be true that bad decisions got you to where you are right now. But that doesn’t mean that you’re not capable of living your life and making necessary decisions. There’s not a single person in your life that hasn’t made a few bad decisions in their life. What’s important, is that you learn from the experience as you move forward.
The thing about hitting bottom is that it gives us the chance to re-evaluate where we’re going. When you’re starting over, there’s no hard and fast rule that says you have to do things the exact same way. In fact, doing things the exact same way would be silly, because there’s a chance that you may make some of the same mistakes. So re-evaluate your priorities. While this may not be the right time to uproot yourself or make a huge life decision, making changes like being open to new opportunities or looking for a new jogging route may expose us to new places or people who could be positive influences in our lives.
Finally, it’s important that you learn to find some positive. The first day after you hit the bottom, you need to find something good. A beautiful sunrise, some great pancakes, or that pair of shoes you’ve been pining for since last month are on sale. Find and recognize the good and you’ll find it easier to move forward.
All in all, it’s important to remember that, while you feel like you’ve been put through the ringer today, you can come through this stronger than before, if you make the conscious choice to do so.